The Desolation of the Nuclear Family
by revolerocelot
Summary: A Metal Gear Solid/Sonic the Hedgehog/What's New Scooby-Doo?/Percy Jackson/Alex Rider/Kill la Kill/Silent Hill/Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction.


Summer. Morning. Cherry blossom petals scattering the sidewalk and Big Boss was walking down the street with an enormous erection throbbing for Sonic the Hedgehog's prostate gland. His foreskin was ripe with smegma and brUh his mind was swarming with visions of Sonic, bound, squirming, screaming, sweating, et cetera. He moaned to himself and fondled his eye socket, fingering his brain and dribbling subconsciously.

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help oman," Big Boss murmured, precum dripping down brUh his leg and leaving a snail trail along the ground. He soon arrived at the studio apartment he shared with the blue blur, and entered with grandiose as he detected on the air the aroma of Sonic's urinary tract. Of course, thought Boss, his urethral brUh fisting classes occur on every third Sunday of the month!

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help oman," was all he could utter though, brainmatter leaking through his right eye socket and staining his polka dot eyepatch.

brUh.

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help oman," Big Boss greeted his love with, but… something was off about Sonic today. As the hedgehog's urethral sphincter grew wider and wider, something quite extraordinary poked out.

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help oman!" Big Boss exclaimed as Shinji Ikari's head found its way out of Sonic's Jap's eye.

"is rly good" Sonic replied, eyes leaking blood from the pain of the young Gundam pilot's head tearing apart his paenyus. He stood up, legs still limp from the trauma, and waddled over to Big Boss, squeezing him tight and feeling Boss' erection swell into his bellybutton. Sonic giggled at the sensation and felt his cock-child choke up a smidgen of cum.

"bus i hav secert 2 tel u" Sonic began, shuffling his feet and staring at the ground.

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help oman?" Boss asked curiously. He stroked Sonic's fur and quivered in delight.

"bus… am preg"

"oman" Suddenly, without warning and out of the blue, a space shuttle crashed into the apartment.

"Like zunks scoob where the fuck are we?" asked Shaggy, stepping out of the smouldering wreck of the spacecraft. Behind him, in the place of the expected heavily accented reply of "ri don't know raggy" was Scoob's corpse, charred and dripping with blood and fecal matter. Shaggy dropped to his knees at the sight of his son's body and wept, emotion pouring like an autumn evening's downpour from his eyes. "Please… I have nothing to live for now… please end my suffering…" Shaggy begged Boss.

"oman am bad with camputor pls send help," replied Big Boss, turning away and carrying the seizuring Sonic away as Shinji began to slip further and further from his cock hole.

"No… kill me… kill me you fucking coward!" screamed Shaggy, his agonised pleas answering to deaf ears as Big Boss left the apartment and continued on his trek down the cherry blossom-paved avenue. "Kill me! Kill me! Bring an end to it! I beg of you! Strip this world from me and send me to the pit!" But there were no words. There was no sound.

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There was only silence. And some sick new Michael Jackson remix in the distance. Brother this shit is fire like you got Billie Jean, Beat It, Bad, Thriller, all your favourites, all the hits, all the motherfucking classics on one tape, I swear to the lord above, for only four easy payments of $19.99 all this can be yours that's right I tell you what. Order before this coming Sunday, and i'll be sure to throw in the MJ Teeth whitening kit for absolutely free! That's right, free! You can't make this shit up ladies and ladies, this is real life, this is real fucking life I am empty inside and nothing will stop theKE ME UP INSIDE, WAKE ME UP INSpain but maybe you can be saved by the healing voice of Micky Jay. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

After a while's traveling, Boss and Sonic made their way to the hospital, where Sonic was taken in his vegetative state for emergency urethral surgery. Meanwhile, Boss awaited his recovery in the waiting room, where none other but Ryuko Matoi was waiting, her own medical problems consuming her life. She had "accidentally" taped her vagina lips to her ears and was suffering the consequences.

 **Who is this? oman**

 **brUh**

 **Leave before it is too late.**

Knuckles and Sonic's ravaged, mutilated bodies lay twisted and split on the now bloodstained sidewalk, fetal and adult haemoglobin mixing in the musty summer breeze. Big Boss brought himself up to his full height and with a shudder, drew the misted bodily fluids into his nasal cavity. The mixture of smegma, semen, fecal matter and burst ovarian cysts overwhelmed his revealed brainstem, and caused him to have, like, 3043129132 orgasms simultaneously.

Big Boss was in sheer ecstasy, passers by began to wretch and flee as he started to gape his anal sphincter using his rough, calloused brUh knuckles as a bright searing light erupted from his skin. Tearing his flesh apart at the force of flight MH370 crashing into the cold and murky pacific ocean, a transformation was beginning to rival all the evolution that had ever happened in the universe, across all dimension, and across all of the past, future, and present combined.

Children ran and became adults upon witnessing the unholy sight of Big Boss' new form emerging from the stinking flesh pile covered in coagulated blood. His smegma shell had been fully shedding, revealing an almost perfect being underneath.

"Oh gentleman, pray art thou? I doth request assistance with hither yonder computing device." Big Boss' new gruff voice vibrating the neutrino field of the entire solar cluster.

But mortal beings are not meant to surpass the laws of god. The Fruit of Knowledge or the The Fruit of Life have never existed on Earth. The universal orgasms of Big Boss had allowed them to materialize inside his testicles. God could never allow this. Just as god never allowed the remake of Evangelions to be as good as the originals.

The air became cold. All life in a 12 mile radius began to wither and die, their souls being flung from their vessels as the portal began to crack and wheeze, and none were safe. Save for the entity of Big Bauws.

"Big Boss, it is I. The anti God." rumbled both of Big Boss' testicles in phallic and perfect harmony. "We have watched you from the nega-heaven, and have decided it is time for us to exist once more." Big Boss cupped his extraordinarily large testicles in both his hands and dragged them towards his face, rubbing his impossibly shiny, soft, and sentient juice makers across his perfectly manly man face of manliness.

"What is your will oh ancient ones." Quietly exclaimed Big Boss with his Neutrino Growl.

. The heavens began to open, the sky turning black as the elder gods tore open the fabric of space time. And that's when he emerged.

"Wassup nigga." Threw the Angel Gabriel. His holy mantle floating high above his gangsta ass fuck crew cut, throwing a gang sign the way of Big Boss. "Hey look here cracker, the big mofo upstairs don't want none of dis no more. This ain't the way it's s'posed to be, ya feel?" His dark, chocolatey hand pointed toward Boss in such a gang symbol that warped reality around it. It should've been impossible.

Gabriel lowered his cloak to reveal his angelhood, and my my. Big Boss was impressed. Mortal wants of mutual docking returned for a slight while, but were quickly brushed away.  
Big Boss dropped his balls back to their natural position. He stepped forward onto the cool, lifeless grass of the park, as the mud pushed through his unholy toes, causing a most ticklish feeling.

"I now understand what terrible actions I have completed. But I have granted wishes. Shaggy exists no more due to my actions. I must carry out the will of what must be done" Big boss dropped to his knee, his massive testicles swinging gravity.

"enough talk nigga" said gabriel, and tore of his face to reveal alex rider underneath.

"Now, it's time for me to carry out MI5's work!" In a cute twink british accent. Alex "Gabriel" Rider began to perform somersaults, flipping like a fucking pancake on a really hot pan. he was fast.

"not fast enough Rider." said big b0ss, as he expanded his now fucking huge dick across Alex's young soft face, his phallus causing rips and tears across alex rider's neck. "I know you created the Storm Breaker!" Alex rider shouted, his long black dick trailing behind him, as the power of god propelled him at breakneck speeds.

" **I KILLED YOUR UNCLE ALEX**

 **RIDER, ALL IN A DREAM. NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DIE, AND**

 **SQUEAL LIKE A BITCH LIKE UR MUM AND DAD DID BEFORE THE "PLANE**

 **KILLED THEM**." go for it man, me too probably

Big Boss used his huge fucking cock to shatter Alex's halo into a million tiny shards, the nano material being sucked into Big Boss' anti balls.


End file.
